Rafael's Blog

Making Peace with Unplanned Pregnancy

Posted: June 17th 2016

Unplanned pregnancy is certainly confusing news for you. Whether it’s an unwanted pregnancy, or not planned like headaches. Various negative emotions emerge at once: sadness, worry, and fear about being able to undergo pregnancy and future parenting, anger at yourself and your partner, and it may even reduce interest in maintaining the womb.

Child & Family Psychologist, Anna Surti Ariani, S.Psi, M.Sc., said that even though this is hard to accept, it will continue to be a disaster if you don’t immediately find a way to make peace. “If this is not accepted as a gift, it will continue to be a disaster,” he said. “Irritation, resentment, sadness, fear, all psychological problems need to be resolved. If this is over, the pregnancy will be better, ”he continued.

The psychologist who is often called Nina said that all negative emotions resulting from an unplanned pregnancy must be neutralized immediately within 2 weeks so that it does not become a burden for expectant mothers.

Then how to make peace with all this? Nina gave some suggestions:

#1. Receive

The very first is to accept. “Talk about it, get all these negative emotions out,” said Nina. Nina continued, “It’s very important to have time to cry, but also don’t drag on it.” According to him, time to cry can also be a way of removing all the burdens. “For example, I just want to cry 3 times a day. I don’t want to be challenged, I just want to cry, just, “he said, giving an example.

According to Nina, this kind of installment technique helps us to feel better. “In installments, it is like we are ventilating all our negative emotions. If it is paid in installments, it is more likely to be lost, “he said.

#2. Confess

You need to admit that somehow this is a gift from God who is preparing a better life for you, your partner, and your family. Stop seeing this as a mistake.

In addition, acknowledge any feelings that make you feel overwhelmed: whether they are feelings of fear of future inability to raise children, anxiety about financial problems, as well as obstacles to personal results.

#3. Discuss

Discuss with your partner how to continue this unplanned pregnancy. Talk about how you and your partner divide the roles, for example, your husband will be more involved in caring for the eldest while you face morning sickness, you will help find extra money to prepare for all the needs of childbirth, as well as other issues that make you feel overwhelmed. Your partner’s support will help you get through this.

You can also seek other support from family or close friends. They may serve as inspiration on how to manage a family with an increasing number of children.

#4. Connect with Yourself

Connect with yourself, about who you are, what you want. This will make you more accepting and loving of yourself.

#5. Connect with the fetus in the womb

Once you are able to love yourself, you will be able to love the fetus you are carrying. Taking care of your pregnancy and communicating regularly with the fetus will increase your bond with it.

Nina emphasized that if these negative emotions don’t go away, then there must be more intensive handling by asking for professional help.

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